As someone with PTSD, I have always lived in fear of my emotions. The mind has been compared to a rider (the conscious) and an elephant (the unconscious), but my mind has always been more like a trainer and a rogue orca.
Which felt slightly doomed.
Not that the doomed part has ever shut my trainer up any…
Learning to meditate began to change that. Very quickly, I realized that I didn’t have to be a victim any longer. Emotions were like the weather: ephemeral. Better yet, they could be processed and let go.
The orca stopped going rogue so often.
Writing classes started out hard, because when you write from the heart, it stirs up strong emotions. Meditating allowed what came up to be accepted, observed and treated with compassion.
I still had Fibromyalgia and IBS, though. At first, you notice you’re in pain, but the pain is so all-consuming and terrifying that you can’t notice any connections.
Over time though, you realize the pain is worse when you feel bad about something. Scared. Angry. If you notice this too, be sure to check out my next post, “Just what hurts when you have back pain?”
When I added in dietary changes and yoga, things started to turn around.